Jeff Gets Lit (Up)

I’ll get the bad shit out of the way early and we can never talk of it again. I got pinched. My partner pulled a quick pass at the end of a dotted-yellow, and I followed him after our side went solid. The sheriff that was two cars behind me lit me up. He was quite professional and nice, noting that he’d just about stopped paying attention to me because I was keeping well within the speed limit and then… It took longer than needed, but I paid him $85 in cash on the side of the road and went on my way. Seriously. It was…odd (although I should note that I did get a ticket, so I basically pled guilty on the side of the road and paid my fine, for all intents and purposes).

But that was the one shadow on an otherwise perfect day. Great weather, great roads, great scenery. Really spectacular.

Got a bit of a late start as we sorted a sensor issue on Paul’s bike. We skipped breakfast in the interest of time and headed straight to the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone. On the way…Bison Attack! Clearly not satisfied with their loss yesterday, the Bison hid by the side of the road and leapt out as we approached. But we were ready for them. Paul bravely dodged to the far side of a car and tried to look like a fender. I courageously turned around and hid behind a fence. But this time I took pictures!

Please note two things: 1) the fence standing between me and certain death and 2) there is a CAR(!?!) behind the buffalo…

Okay. I’ll admit that there is a bit of forced perspective at play here, but believe me when I say that this buffalo was the size of a small moon.

After we won the finals in Hide and Seek, Buffalo Edition, onwards to the Grand Canyon. It was, indeed, grand. But I made Paul run up and down the hill to the brink of the falls because we were on a tight timetable. After a quick peek, on to Old Faithful.

We made it to Old Faithful with about 30min until the next eruption, which gave us time to see the Inn and get a good spot at the geyser. Nice eruption, but nothing of particular note. Over to the lodge for cafeteria lunch and back on the bikes. If this all sounds hurried, it was. Not ideal, but this is not North to Montana, after all…

Next stop was Grand Prismatic. Also grand!

It’s like a liquid rainbow. But with bacterial mats!

We elbowed the Chinese out of the way and made good time around the Prismatic loop, then back to the bikes.

A note here to say that motorcycles were hands down the best possible way to see this park. At least in good weather. Mobile, easy to park, and quick to maneuver around traffic and such. Just watch out for those sneaky bison!

On to Mammoth Hot Springs, which was out last stop in the park. We just took a quick peek and a few photos, then back on the road. I made a not-so-quick stop in the men’s room that nearly ended the trip in tragedy. I felt the need (ahem) to wait for a stall. Both were full. So I took up position and pulled out my phone (as you do). I noodled about for several minutes, then suddenly the door was thrown open into me and the man stormed off as I fended off the metal panel. I took my seat and looked up, still puzzling, when I heard a loud voice talking about an asshole pervert. Holy shit. I am that asshole pervert! I realized that I had been standing directly in front of the door hinge line, and I have no doubt that I looked to either be watching, filming, or both… In my defense, the stall was laid out a bit oddly and I had no idea the guy was sitting right in front of me, but I did have a nice chuckle about the misconception. Until I realized that the rangers were probably on the way to ask me some probing questions. Job done, I buggered off (so to speak).

Mammoth Hot Springs. Cool place. 😉

We gassed up and vacated the park, heading to Helena. On the way out of Mammoth we passed a herd of elk chilling in the traffic circle. They did not charge, so I liked them better than the bison. Aside from my run-in with Johnny Law we went straight through to a pizza joint, then on to the hotel. Even the interstates in Montana are gorgeous, and we got in with a bit of daylight left as the sun set on an amazing day in MAGA country.

Starting Odometer: 33858
Ending Odometer: 34166
Daily Total: 308
Running Total: 1,603

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